Big Bad L
by Sashocirrione
Summary: Misa is delivering something important when she runs into wolf!L in the woods. Based on Little Red Riding Hood. Dubious consent.
1. Before Processing

**Title: **"Big Bad L"

**Author: **Sashocirrione

**Spoilers: **Spoilers for the entire manga series and the entire anime series and for the "How to Read" canon supplement.

**Warnings: **NO UNDERAGE READERS. Rated M for a reason. Sexual activities. Suicide and violence. Sexual harassment and dubious consent. Religious themes. Rough sex. References to cannibalism.

**Summary: **Misa is delivering something important when she runs into wolf!L in the woods. Based on Little Red Riding Hood.

**Pairing: **LxMisa and also a minor LightxMisa

**Additional Notes: **All canon events have happened as normal, and this fanfic is set post-canon. This is one of those really bizarre AUs that seems to be very much against canon, but is technically canon-compliant because of a weird loophole in the fanfic itself.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Death Note, and I do not make any money from these writings.

* * *

**CHAPTER 1: Before Processing**

She flung herself from the roof and there was nothing, nothing to hold on to any longer and her fingers clawed instinctively and the wind screamed around her and a wave of regret moved through her. The ground speeded up, barreling upward, frightening, unavoidable, and it rammed into her with the speed of a train and the worst pain imaginable, her splintered ribcage stabbing through her stomach and slivers of broken teeth driven deep into her throat; blood, agony, flatness, blood, agony, flatness...

And then there was nothing whatsoever.

There was, after an eternity, a solid but gently rocking floor under her feet, a floor that she was standing on, and there were the lapping sounds of water, and an inky darkness only lit by the dimmest of light, from every direction and yet none.

Misa turned and looked up to see a very tall figure, tall enough to be a shinigami, entirely enclosed in a black robe, its head hidden by a long, drooping hood, its hands deep within voluminous sleeves as it dipped a long pole into the water over and over, driving the boat forward.

No shore was visible, only the black water, a slight current moving from nowhere to nowhere.

Misa tried to move and found that her legs and arms were paralyzed. She could only move her head and neck and twist her torso slightly.

To the figure, she said, "Ryuk told us that there was nothing after death. The afterlives of all those religions, they're just lies or mistakes."

It said, in a voice neither male nor female, "That is true. There is nothing after death."

"This isn't nothing! There's water here, there's a boat. You're obviously taking me somewhere. It looks like a Greek drama, to be honest."

"You made an assumption," it said, "and your assumption is wrong. Now is not after your death. Here it is not after or before any event. It is a place outside of time."

Misa said, "The afterlife is outside of time? That's cool. I'll meet Light, then. We must end up going to the same place. We both did the same things."

"There is no afterlife, Misa Amane. There is only reincarnation. Your soul will be processed and then will re-enter the stream of time as a new life in a new body, with no memories."

"Where's Light? Send me to him. If there's any sort of bargain I can make, anything I can do-"

"Light Yagami was processed ages ago, and yet Light Yagami has never been processed. This place is before his first birth and after his last death."

Misa's eyes stung, but she couldn't rub them. She said, "Whatever it takes! Light has to be reincarnated somewhere. Put me there. I remember... I remember L was the smartest detective in the world and he said Light deserved me, and I deserved Light. We must belong together."

The pole paused and the boat stopped moving.

"We are here," the figure said.

There was no difference in anything, the surroundings unchanged. Misa's panic was rising in her throat.

She said, "Take whatever you want to pay for my request!"

It reached out to her with long, bony, withered hands, grasping her paralyzed body and easily hoisting her high overhead.

The thing said, "It does not matter what you want. It does not matter what you deserve. The game is played by other rules. Your choices will determine your status, but you will make those choices with no knowledge of the possible consequences. Now, enter and forget."

Her body arced through the air, and for a moment she had the horror of her suicide jump clutching at her from deep within her stomach, but then she hit the black, cold water, sinking. Wetness overwhelmed her. She opened her mouth, and water filled it. She was under, and she didn't know anything.


	2. Choices

**CHAPTER 2: Choices**

Misa had never really thought about animals very much until after her parents died. Before, animals were just another kind of servant, physically resembling humans except for the animals' furry ears and tails, the fangs on the predatory ones, and the different abilities they had.

And there were their different minds, too, to set them apart. It was clear that they didn't think quite like humans, and so Misa rarely talked with them. Cats were rather obsessed with mice, horses with their own strength, dogs with the houses or flocks they guarded, and the wild animals were rarely glimpsed and always obsessed with stealing.

After her parents' deaths, though, she'd gained a new respect and closeness for one animal in particular, a rather intelligent cat her parents had cared for in order to keep away mice and rats, and to say clever things to impress visitors. Light was the perfect feline, very clever, astonishingly so, and yet he was haughty and arrogant and preferred to keep his own company, and so Misa really didn't have much to do with him until that one fateful day.

That day was emblazoned in her mind. When she had returned home that day, he'd gained her unending devotion for his act of bravery. She'd found the slaughtered bodies of her parents, and then a third body of a stranger with Light crouched on it, his teeth in its throat, growling and growling with his tail stuck straight up in the air and all the fur on it expanded like a bottle-brush.

When he'd settled down, he'd explained that he'd arrived to find her parents already dead and the robber going through their belongings, and he couldn't help but attack, and kill, doing a job that was expected of many dogs but was unheard-of for a cat.

After that, Light had comforted Misa in her grief in his own strange animalistic way, and she'd managed to convince him to guard her in her bed at night, to make her feel safe, and to hold her in his arms as she cried. From then on, he'd comforted her in bed every night, and, with much shame, Misa realized that she'd fallen in love with a cat.

It was good, though. Having Light was an immense comfort. She especially found it pleasureful to get him out of his clothing and run her hands across his smooth chest, to gently kiss his warm lips and try to get him to return the kiss, to marvel at the nearly-human look of the vast majority of his body and to wonder why more humans didn't fall for animals.

During cuddling, Light was fussy and standoffish and she could hardly ever get him to purr, and sometimes, sometimes, she thought that he was merely going through the motions of cuddling because of the advantages of having an owner who was devoted to his every whim. But then, when she asked him, he always said he liked it, that he wanted it, and he'd silence her doubts and leave her knees weak with a passionate kiss.

Once in a while, she could even coax him into a sexual mood and then he would mount her and thrust a few times, painfully, until he abruptly climaxed. His penis had small spikes on it, as Misa learned was true of all male cats and greatly liked by female cats, and so it was a kind of doomed love.

Misa told herself that it was enough, and that their love was particularly romantic for having that obstacle. It was frustrating, though. She wanted more and more of Light, more than he was able to give, and she found herself becoming something like his slave, hanging on him all the time, hoping always for a few more scraps of attention from him in return for her unending devotion.

It was difficult to attend to all of Light's wishes, no matter how much Misa wanted to. Income was restricted. Even after getting a job as a dancing-girl at a tavern and becoming popular, Misa was still selling away treasured heirlooms and furniture that had been in her family for generations.

One day Light took Misa aside to have a serious talk with her.

Stretched out full length on a sofa, Light said, "Our financial situation must improve. I have a plan, but I will not tell every part of this plan to you. Will you obey me, Misa?"

She fell to her knees, took his hand in hers, and said, "Yes. I will, Light."

He licked his little fangs and his eyes almost glowed with excitement as his tail started twitching. She reached up with one hand and dared to caress his soft, furry ears, which flicked under her movements as if annoyed, until she withdrew her hand.

Light reached into his pocket and took out a piece of paper, unfolding it to reveal a map that he had obviously drawn himself.

He said, "I know you have not visited your grandmother Rem in a few years, because of increased bandit activity along all the wilderness roads. I believe you can avoid any bandit ambushes by traveling on this particular route I have marked, using animal trails. Rem will be pleased to see you and she'll be likely to help with your finances."

Light gestured towards an ornate and pretty picnic basket on the floor.

"That," he said, "contains a number of treats and gifts for her. Some of the items I've been asking from you were actually for Rem."

He cocked his head, ears perked forward alertly, and Misa recognized the pose. She knew the correct response.

She said, "You're so perfect, Light! Thank you! You're a good kitty!"

At the praise, the tiniest hint of a smirk came onto his face, the closest that Light ever got to a smile.

Misa opened up the basket and Light lurched forward, looking almost alarmed. Misa glanced back and forth from Light to the basket's contents, puzzled. She saw presents in bright wrapping paper and a few bottles, dark blue and dark green.

"I was afraid... you might open the presents... and ruin hours of work," Light said between licks, as he started furiously washing the back of one of his hands.

Misa read the label on one of the bottles and said, "Medicine? I thought you'd send grandma some liquor in these bottles, but-"

"Rem is sick," Light said, "according to the information I could gather. I've been bribing wild animals to learn this, and everything is third-hand at best, but if she is sick we must help her. She'll be very grateful, Misa. We need that gratitude."

Misa blinked uncertainly at him. Light had sounded almost sinister for a moment, and he'd gotten a strange expression on his face, but now he was simply her pretty kitty again, looking quite innocent.

_I must be imagining it. This really is the best plan, and I know Light cares for me. Those behaviors that I don't understand, that's just because he's a cat._

Laughing, Misa kissed him, dazed at his taste and the way he responded just slightly, and then she skipped about the room getting ready. There wasn't much clothing that was suitable for hiking. She'd sold nearly all her practical clothing, and her wardrobe was stocked with short skirts, suitable for her dancing job. There was one nice long red hooded cloak she could wear over a dancing outfit to make it warmer. Fortunately, it was spring, so that ensemble along with boots should do it.

There wasn't any underwear, as she always sold all of those to clients as fast as she could buy new ones, but she knew it wouldn't matter much for warmth, and if bandits found her despite Light's precautions... she shivered... panties wouldn't stop anything.

_But that won't happen. Light always has foolproof plans, and bandits would never expect a human so far from any roads._

Misa finished dressing, packed a little food and water for her own use, picked up the picnic basket, and started out the door. Right before she closed it, Light said, "Be careful. You are going far off the beaten trail. There are wolves in those woods, and wolves eat people."

Misa shivered again, but then she put all bad thoughts out of her mind and stepped out the door, immediately going to the woods and starting out on the first animal trail Light had marked on the map. In the beginning, the route was close to town and non-threatening. She marched through tiny patches of forest, right on the edges of closely-grazed pastures and plowed fields with the first green shoots of young wheat just starting to show. Gradually, though, as she moved from one animal trail to another, she was into denser and denser woods, with no signs of civilization in sight.

It was after many hours of travel and several stops for small meals that she started seeing and hearing something, always just on the edge of her senses. It was too far away when she saw it for her to be sure that any slight movement wasn't just an oddly-shaped bush blowing in the wind. With so many tree trunks in the way, it was always hard to tell if it was something alive or not.

Perhaps the visual aspect was many different things, but there were also, at times, some slight sounds. When she heard it, she could never be certain whether it was loud breathing some distance to one side or another, or just more tricks of the wind.

As the late afternoon drew on, the sights and sounds decreased and she thought that perhaps it had been her imagination after all. She stopped under a tree in a place where the trees were further apart, letting in abundant sunlight, resulting in a thick carpet of grass everywhere between the trees.

Just as she was about to open her food, _he_ stepped around from a tree trunk very near to her.

A wolf.

His grayish-brown ears and tail marked him as one, and as he placed a finger in his mouth and stared, Misa could see a glimpse of his fangs, much larger ones than Light's tiny cat-fangs.

As to his human-looking portions, he had black, fluffy head-hair, and wide, liquid black eyes, utterly piercing in their expression. His skin was unusually pale for a wild animal. Misa supposed he must normally do his hunting at night, or perhaps during the day in the deepest parts of the woods where the sunlight hardly reached the ground.

Instead of the simple loincloth or the torn, ragged cast-off clothing that many wild animals wore, he was respectably, if somewhat sloppily, dressed in an oversized white t-shirt and baggy blue jeans. The jeans hung low enough for his tail to pop out over the hemline, unlike Light's meticulous insistence on sewing a nice tail-hole into every pair of trousers he owned.

The wolf circled warily, his eyes flicking from the basket to Misa and then the basket again, and then he suddenly looked as if he might rush in at once.

Misa said, "Hi, I'm Misa! What is your name?"

_I've got to keep him talking. Most wolves can be tricked or diverted; at least that's what the stories say._

His eyes were shifty. He opened his mouth and looked as if he might say one thing, but then he hesitated and instead said, "My name is Ryuzaki."

"Ryuzaki," she repeated, trying to keep her voice normal and calm, "why don't you sit with me, and I'll share my food with you?"

_I'll bribe him with food, and maybe he'll only eat that and steal one or two things and leave._

He looked startled, and in a voice that was somehow both intense and nearly a monotone at once, he said, "This is my trail, you know. I own it from the lightning-marked tree stump to the abandoned well, and I own everything on the trail. Everyone knows this. What is in that basket is mine. You are also mine."

She patted the grass beside where she was sitting and said, "Sit! I promise you'll be full just from the food I'll give you."

_And then you won't eat me._

Ryuzaki doubtfully said, "Okay," and settled into a feral crouch on the soft grass where she indicated, wriggling around and gazing at her, itching himself with his long toes.

He looked strangely familiar, though Misa was sure she'd never had an up-close view of any wolf before.

She told herself, _Perhaps I've seen him gazing from the edge of the forest without realizing any animal was there. Wolves blend in so well._

* * *

**A/N (Author's Note):**

This is based on a request from the Death Note Kink Meme 2 on Livejournal, at dn_kink2. I was thinking about putting it in my "Smutty Shorts" collection, but decided not to, because that collection is for fics that I'm worried won't stand well on their own, and it's also for fics that are complete within one chapter. I felt that "Big Bad L" would stand by itself better than most of the "Smutty Shorts" fics, and I was also certain it would be at least two chapters, due to the extreme change of scene between the first part of the fic and the second.

Why did I have that odd set-up in the first chapter? Basically, it's because I have a hard time wrapping my head around any fanfic AU that is radically different than the canon and has no explanation of how or why these fanfic characters can be considered to be who they're supposed to be.

By writing a connecting bit between canon and this fanfic that provides some kind of explanation for why Little Red Riding Hood is Misa and why the Big Bad Wolf is L, no matter how cheesy that explanation might be, it eases my mind a bit and allows the rest of the story to be written more easily.

The meme request says:

"Red Riding Hood!Misa/Big Bad Wolf!L.

Misa Amane is sending a basket full of goodies to her sick old grandmother. Along the way she meets a wolf (L) who not only wants her basket full of goodies but her as well (mating season? idk)

Remember to include dub-con on Misa Part.

Request based on a L/Misa Red Riding Hood paint chat I found a few days ago [and then the request included a link to a webpage with a series of eleven MS Paint sketches, most of them repeats of the same pictures with just the dialogue changed.]"

The pictures' dialogue is in Japanese and most of it isn't understandable to me because those words can't be run through Google translate. It's very messy handwriting. It's definitely Red Riding Hood themed with wolf!LxMisa oral and then doggy style in the woods, and there's something at the very beginning about a feline-looking Light, and the webpage parts that can be run through Google translate don't make much sense to me, but I think it says L is a virgin and Light has some kind of sinister plan to hurt Misa. Other than those bare facts, this fanfic and that MS Paint picture series shouldn't have anything in common.

Because of all this, I believe my fic is going to be different enough from whatever this other person is working on (a possible doujin in the works?) to be more like a case of parallel ideas, and to not need this other person's permission. However, I won't be uploading this fic to the archive at adult fan fiction dot net because their anti-plagiarism rules are so strict that I've had fics removed for "plagiarism" for simply having author's notes acknowledging fanon, or for mentioning other authors' ideas in any way.


	3. Complications

**CHAPTER 3: Complications**

Ryuzaki's mannerisms were almost like those of a tame dog, with the way he was crouching obediently where Misa had indicated, but she kept her eye on him, careful, apprehensive. He did seem childish in an almost innocent way, but there was an enormous tension in the air, a feeling that he could snap at any moment and begin tearing her to pieces.

"Actually," she said, "I didn't know that everything on this trail belongs to you, so that rule can't apply to me."

He cocked his head to the side, chewed on a finger and said, "That's not possible. There are closer trails that are much easier to find than mine, and you couldn't have missed my pack's scent marks."

"Humans can't smell those, silly! I was following a map, and there's nothing on the map about anyone owning this trail."

He replied, "Then it's true, what they say about humans," and she was sure she caught a flash of fascination in his eyes for a moment, before they once again became unreadable.

Ryuzaki slunk forward, still in his crouch, and with two fingers, as if he were afraid, grasped the edge of the picnic basket and drew it towards himself, peering inside and plucking out items one by one to stack on the grass beside him, sniffing each wrapped package carefully before setting it down and saying either "food" or "not food."

Misa said, "Hey! I've got a cheese sandwich over here!"

"You can eat that," he said, "but everything else belongs to me."

Ryuzaki held up one particularly nicely-wrapped present and said, "I am surprised that a cat has enough intelligence to make all these folds exactly so, and to tie the ribbons in these ornate knots. This requires considerable skill."

_I guess he smells Light all over everything in that basket, and not me, except for one or two touches._

Misa replied, "Light is a very intelligent cat. He knows exactly where I am; he drew the map for me. If I were to disappear, I'm sure he'd send hunters after every wolf in this area."

"That doesn't make sense."

"I swear it's true."

"I mean that everyone in this area knows about Light's quest to make a map. He's been asking many questions. An intelligent feline should have sent you a few miles to the west, on a much safer trail. Is Light a cat of highly variable intelligence? Is he a victim of misinformation? Or is something more complex occurring?"

_This wolf sounds almost like Light. He thinks the same way. What could this mean?_

The wolf began unwrapping some of the food packages. He opened the medicines too and sniffed each bottle, only to re-cork them and set them aside. A thoughtful look came across his features and he simply crouched in place, studying the objects and sometimes re-arranging them slightly.

_He's not eating! Does he really want to eat me instead?_

Misa said, "Out of the goodness of my heart, I'll let you eat some of the special treats I was bringing to Grandma."

"The contents of both medicine bottles are certainly poisoned, and I'm suspicious of the other items on principle."

"What? Poisoned? Is your nose defective?"

"Feigning innocence will not help you. Was this a trap to kill me? Answer honestly."

Misa answered, "I suppose Light could have planned it that way, but I don't know why!"

"You allowed a _cat_ to pack a gift basket for your grandmother without any supervision at all?"

"Yes. I trust Light perfectly. He always has the best plans."

As if talking to himself, Ryuzaki muttered, "He either has poor information about a wolf's sense of smell, or the poison was meant for a different purpose than killing me. It could be for bandits, but, if he left you ignorant of his plan, then, in order to avoid accidentally killing your grandmother, he would need to be completely certain that bandits would strike. Along this route, the only likelihood of that happening would be if Light arranged for the ambush."

He turned his head and looked directly at Misa with a particularly piercing stare and said, "Or, you could be lying to me. Perhaps you knew about the poison all along."

"No! I didn't know, okay!"

The look in the wolf's eyes was deeply unsettling.

_Maybe... maybe the shopkeeper who sold Light the medicine is trying to kill me, or something like that. I certainly have many obsessed fans._

The wolf demanded, "Are you in a difficult financial situation? Is there an inheritance involved?"

"Well, sort of, but Light wouldn't do that! He's a good kitty! I believe the poison was for bandits and nothing you can say will convince me otherwise!"

"In any case," Ryuzaki said, "I will be taking the non-food items. All of them belong to me now."

"That's a bad thing! That's stealing, and thieves get punished eventually."

"Is it stealing?"

"Of course it is, dummy!"

"By my rules," the wolf droned, "I rightfully own these. You yourself belong to me, and so all your possessions must belong to me as well."

Misa retorted, "By the laws created by the king and upheld by the courts, animals can't own people, I own these things, and I can choose to give some of them to you _if_ you're good and I want to. Let's sit here and have a nice conversation, and then I'll probably give half the things to you as a parting gift, because I like you."

"What is justice really? Is it only what the strongest individual wants for the others? Or is there a moral code independent of who is strongest?"

"There's a moral code. Right and wrong can't be changed by violent evildoers who want to get their way."

"Then, consider this, Misa. Humans have created rules saying that most things belong to them, including animals. We animals have our own sets of laws that say most things belong to us. Especially here, in the wilderness, don't you think it is acceptable for animal laws to supercede human ones?"

Misa crossed her arms. "No. Laws have to be fair to be valid. You could look up human laws any time you wanted to, in our town's courthouse. Then you could consider the consequences before breaking them. I had no chance to find out that anyone who goes on this trail belongs to you, and maybe you're even making that up. How am I to know?"

"I am testing your intelligence," he said.

_What? Did I pass his test by arguing with him? Or is more required?_

Misa reached out and touched his shoulder. He jumped back from her hand, landing neatly on all fours in the grass, his ears perked up and twitching.

She said, "And everyone I touch belongs to me."

"You're lying."

"Am I? Each of us could be lying. What I did to you is exactly what you did to me. It's fair."

He blinked at her, and then demanded, "Give me the map."

She was reluctant to show him the map in case he might steal it, and then she'd be lost if she couldn't remember it perfectly. Wild animals were notorious thieves of anything that caught their fancy. But, the wolf needed to be humored and distracted, plus the map would prove some of what she'd been saying. She drew it out of her cloak's pocket, looking it over one more time before handing it to him. He snatched it in a finger-and-thumb grip and dangled it in front of his face.

After a long pause, Ryuzaki muttered, "I am beginning to think that you are not worth my time. I cannot eat your food and, if I interfere with you too much, I may end up being hunted. It is only the mystery that continues to hold my interest, though I believe I have already figured out seventy-five percent of it. It could be dangerous here, and yet-"

He froze, sniffing the air deeply, and then cocked his head to the side.

Misa opened her mouth to speak, but he fixed an intense stare at her and silently mouthed, "No."

It truly did seem as if he were listening to something, but Misa heard nothing.

"Interesting," he said, "I am told that you are female."

_Told? By who?_

"Ryuzaki, couldn't you tell by looking when we first met? You thought I was male all this time?"

"Animals go by scent more than appearance. I could tell your scent was different, but I initially thought it was because you are the first human I've ever met. When the wind shifted just now and I got a strong breeze that had traveled between your legs, Nature told me that you are female."

"Nature?"

"Nature is a voice that only talks to animals. It is invariably correct. Many tame animals never hear it, or can barely understand Nature when they do hear it. Wild animals hear it frequently. Don't you know much about animals? You seem quite ignorant."

He crawled forward to where she was sitting, grabbed the edge of her skirt and flipped it up with one hand, the other hand holding her hip in a vice-like grip.

"Hey!" she shouted.

"Most extraordinary!" he replied, staring right between her legs.

* * *

**A/N (Author's Note):**

Sorry about any misunderstandings created by the previous chapter's author's note! I will not be creating artwork for this fanfic. I was quoting the meme request and then I was describing what was at the link that was used by that anonymous requester.

If you want to see the artwork that was created by the other person before I even started writing this story, you can follow the link from the meme request (I can't put the link here because fanfiction dot net erases links). That other person is, as far as I know, completely unaware of me or of my work on this similar theme.


	4. Answer

**CHAPTER 4: Answer**

Misa couldn't get out of his grip. He was frightfully strong, even just that one hand, and the other quickly joined it on her opposite hip. Her heart was pounding hard in her chest and she swallowed, trying to focus on what to do.

_It's best to keep him talking._

"You don't need to stare like a pervert. Surely you've seen a female animal?"

"I don't do much hunting," he said, "I usually stay in the cave. In fact, you are my very first female."

His head dipped down between her legs, his mouth getting closer and closer and she didn't know what to think but instinctively tried to jerk back. It was no use. His tongue ran all along her folds and it felt good and she was ashamed and afraid.

"Hmmmm," he mumbled, lips vibrating against her parts, "there's no reason to be startled. Don't you know that animals investigate with our mouths?"

_It's only... it's only touching. It's not sex, is it?_

His tongue was continuing to roam, making her feel good in a way that Light never had, flicking sometimes across her sensitive clit in its explorations, and it really needed to stop but she could only get half of the command out before she lost control and let out a moan.

Ryuzaki drew back and placed a hand there, running a thumb slickly along the moist centerline. "It is like a flower, you spread the petals and... Oh!"

His thumb had slipped inside, and he seemed very startled.

"There is an internal pocket," he muttered, and as he explored inside, he leaned down again and ran his tongue all along the outside and Misa was shaking, it was so good, so good, and she twitched each time his muscular tongue happened to press along her clitoris.

After a series of steady, probing swipes, he said, "My experiments seem to indicate that you like... this," and then he was licking relentlessly right at the top of her cleft where her little bud was almost hidden, throbbing, responding more and more to the wet movements of his tongue, and she couldn't help it, she was arching up into his mouth, roughly pressing against him, and then she was coming, hard.

Nobody else had ever made her come before. Not Light, not anyone. Only her own hand had.

The wolf was suddenly scrambling backwards on all fours, landing on his butt in the grass. He was panting and looked alarmed.

He muttered, "It seems to have affected me," and then he pulled down his baggy jeans and his underwear to expose a half-hard organ. He stared at it with a very strange expression on his face, something unreadable but intense.

Ryuzaki placed a finger in the corner of his mouth and said, "My penis is swollen. It is... getting worse. Perhaps I am ill. Did you... did you poison me, somehow, after all?"

Misa's curiosity drew her towards him and she crawled in that direction. He looked very innocent, and he blushed and trembled as she approached, his organ becoming even larger, more swollen.

_He is just an animal, and Light won't play with me in a way that feels good. Nobody will ever know._

She reached out and his breathing came faster as she traced a finger from the base to the tip. It twitched in response. His large, black eyes were very intense.

She knelt down and began licking him softly. It tasted salty, but tolerable.

"Ah... ah... what is this feeling?"

"I'm helping you," she muttered between licks, "in just the same way you helped me. It will... make you feel extremely good. Relax for me."

He let out a little howl as she mouthed him. He was getting bigger in her mouth, his organ swelling even more, taking on a strange shape, trying to slip into her throat. In a few more moments he elbowed her away from his lap, and was then flipping her over, forcing her onto all fours and situating himself behind her.

In a commanding voice he said, "Nature has just now told me that is dangerous to put my penis in your mouth. I am supposed to get the female in this position and then put my penis into that hidden pocket between your legs."

He flipped her skirt up and his bare thighs were against her.

"Wait," Misa panted, but he was already pushing in as she said it, holding her firmly with that animal strength, thumbs on her hips, long fingers clutching. He was bigger than before, bigger than she'd expected. The sensation as he eased further in was very filling, stretching her, pressing deep within. He was so very deep, further than Light had ever been, further than she'd ever pressed with her own fingers.

She gasped at the intensity of it. It was mind-numbing pressure, driving all thoughts from her head, still increasing though Ryuzaki had stopped pushing and simply held still, shivering and panting.

"I'm stuck," he said, in a strange, bewildered voice, and then, after a few experimental moves shoving back and forth that made Misa's eyes water from the intensity, he added, "I see. Part of my penis... ah... has swollen to a greater diameter than the exit, so of course it cannot be pulled free. I can only... move a bit in place. Yes, that process could have... ah... suffocated you if you had persisted in putting it into your mouth."

He pressed kisses and sloppy licks onto the back of her neck, snuffling wetly into her hair. His arms curled around her chest, and he found her breasts and began playing with them.

"This is... very strange," he said, "I feel a great pleasure. I want to move within you."

"Move," she commanded.

His thrusts were jerky at first, as if he were wildly trying to pull free, and they sent ripples of contractions all through her as she instinctively responded, her muscles clamping down.

There was almost no room inside, everything slick and tight, and the pressure at the end of each jerk curled Misa's toes. It was very sensitive in there, and she was gripping his organ with her most intimate muscles, and yet it was further swelling inside her, she could feel it, a round hard knob at the end of his dick that pushed relentlessly against all the best spots at once, increasing to an almost unbearable ecstasy every time it shifted forward or back.

His movements became smoother, more practiced, with a rest at the end of each stroke where he would shiver against her, hands shaking where they explored along her underside from her breasts to the juncture between her legs, his hot breath ragged against her neck or her ear.

A kind of slow thunder was building inside her, rolling around in her groin, a feeling that would shake her apart, she was sure.

It built and built, and he seemed to sense it, for his thrusts became steadier, pounding her strongly, heightening the feeling on each stroke, and one of his hands wandered between her legs and prodded her little nub and she was coming again, falling onto her elbows in the grass, exquisitely aware of every contour of his swollen penis as she closed her eyes and spasmed deliciously around it, savoring the waves of bliss that radiated out from the spot where they were joined.

She was dimly aware of the wolf letting out a triumphant howl, and then she felt the rush of something warm and sticky deep inside. It filled her completely and a bit was dribbling out too.

The thrusts had stopped. He was panting and shivering and _oh so very hard _inside her still, and when he got some of his breath back, he said, "Nature tells me that you are my mate now. We'll find a cave of our own, and we'll be devoted to each other. I'll always help you and protect you, Misa."

Before she could think through the implications, he was moving again and she could hardly stand it, but still she craved it and pushed back against him with each of his forward thrusts. He was as swollen as ever, and with only a few more thrusts he stopped and howled and there was more of his shockingly hot sticky essence flowing into her, overflowing.

"This is unbelievable," he muttered, "this is better than all the cakes and candies I could wish for."

Misa tried to think, but it was extremely difficult to keep any train of thought with that swollen thing inside of her and his teeth gently mouthing her neck and then, with a great heave, he was moving again, as if trying to get free, but he was stuck, so very stuck.

After a short time he stopped suddenly, moaned, and then came inside her in another hot rush, but his swollen state still persisted.

As he rested on her back, Ryuzaki said, "Misa, I want to... I want to make you pregnant with our puppies. This is difficult, however because Nature says-"

He groaned suddenly and his hips twitched into a slow thrust and then another, fucking her gently but relentlessly. A few moments into the process he said, without stopping, "Nature says you can't have my pups because you are human, but there is a solution. I won't without your permission, but I want to-"

The wolf sped up suddenly, and had yet another orgasm inside her, pushing as far in as he could get, gripping her hips so hard she wondered if he'd leave thumb-print bruises.

_How long can he keep going? He's not like human males at all._

Panting, he continued with, "You're ignorant, so I don't know if you know about this, but-"

"I'm not stupid!"

"Well, do you know why humans hate wolves so much and always try to avoid them?"

"No."

"It is because of fear. Humans fear the wilderness, and they fear being toppled from their self-appointed place as the rulers of everyone else. A good, firm bite from a wolf will convert any human into a wolf permanently. Of course they fear us. I won't force it on you, but if you will let me bite you... it needs to break the skin. From what Nature has told me, I think you would be quite likely to convert fast enough to become pregnant from what I've already deposited inside you."

Misa tried to think. _It would mean leaving everything, leaving Light... but then Light has... well... has he really? The wolf could be lying about it all, but still..._

The fucking started again, her insides accommodating him, craving that round knob that was too big to ever be pulled out, but it stretched her just so, and she was getting tired but it was a good kind of exhaustion, she liked it, she really did.

Thoughts of Ryuzaki's stamina bought a hot blush to her cheeks, a burning she could feel as she pictured marathon lovemaking sessions in some well-furnished cave, herself with her own set of wolf ears and a wolf tail, Ryuzaki taking her over and over again, completely devoted to his mate.

She was winding down, but he was still going, whimpering helplessly at times, coming but at longer intervals.

A choice was looming before her. She could feel it, the time running out bit by bit. Soon it would be forced upon her.

Instead of thinking about it, she focused on the situation at hand, and asked, "When... when will you be able to pull out?"

Ryuzaki replied, "When I stop being so excited, it will gradually shrink. That is what Nature tells me. You are... ah... extremely exciting, Misa. I am... almost completely worn out."

After panting and wriggling a bit, grinding hard against her in a new motion he'd discovered, he added, "We may need to lie down. I'll keep you warm. If I relax and nearly go to sleep, I am sure that would accomplish our objective."

Awkwardly, he pulled her over onto her side bit by bit, yelping piteously if she tried to descend at the wrong angle, until at least they had worked themselves into an inter-tangled curl, both lying on their sides in the grass in a sunny patch, his penis still embedded deeply inside her. He panted and wriggled almost incessantly, still trying to make small motions against her.

When he realized her flagging interest, he leaned over, said, "Wolves are very flexible," and proceeded to lick at her clit, skillful flicking motions that, combined with his grinding of that hard knob into her deeply, caused her to come one last time.

The wolf finished and smirked at her, nuzzling at her chin, and she reached down to fondle his soft, furry ears, sensing that his restlessness was at last starting to go away. He was calming. Where they were still joined together was incredibly sticky, throbbing with bliss.

Making love in the green grass, in a forest clearing under the bright sunlight, it was very good.

The sound of rough footsteps on the ground startled Misa from her reverie, and at the same moment she heard Ryuzaki growling. His tail was fluffed up hugely, his fangs bared, lips peeled back in an ugly grimace, ears plastered back against his head. He was trying to pull out, and he couldn't.

Misa looked around, seeing nothing at first, and then, a few moments later, seeing Rem coming around a bend in the trail, a shotgun in hand and quickly swiveling to train exactly on the wolf.

"No, don't hurt him!" Misa shouted.

"Move aside," Rem said, "or I can't get a clear shot."

Ryuzaki was trying to roll her over, trying to rise up, and she saw that it would make him vulnerable if he completed the movement. She tried to pull him down, but he was too strong.

Between growls, he muttered, "My mate... mine... must protect..."

Misa viciously swiveled her hips to hurt his most sensitive part, to force him down, and he yipped painfully, dropped down partway, and then continued to try to rise. He was too strong, and the shotgun was aiming right at him. Rem would shoot at any moment.

Suddenly, Misa thrust her arm in his open mouth, right against those fangs, and said, "Grandmother, don't! If you shoot, I'll force him to bite me, and then I'll become a wolf and be pregnant with his pups."

"He raped you!"

"Don't call it that! He didn't know what he was doing. He was just following everything a voice inside his head told him to do. Please! He doesn't deserve to die. In fact, I think he might have saved your life."

It hurt painfully to think that Ryuzaki might be right, that Light had been such a villain, but right now, in the moment when sides had to be chosen, it was suddenly ridiculously clear. Thousands of little clues had been dropped in her lap, and she'd been pointedly ignoring them.

Rem was striding closer, and Misa realized that, at close enough quarters, her entanglement with the wolf wouldn't matter. The shotgun could simply be placed against Ryuzaki's head.

The last decision cemented itself in her mind, and suddenly she was forcing Ryuzaki's jaws closed on her arm. He tried to resist at first, with that horrible strength of his, but then some sort of understanding dawned in his eyes, and he bit down, hard.

It hurt, it really really hurt and Misa tried not to scream but she did anyway. They were both tumbling to the ground again joined, and Misa opened her exhausted eyes to see Rem still advancing, the shotgun still raised.

Misa gasped, "Grandmother, you wouldn't kill the father of my children, would you? He saved your life. He discovered that the gifts are poisoned. Don't eat them."

She couldn't keep her eyes open any more. She lay on the ground, shaking. Something strange was moving all through her body, tingling fiercely, tickling the inside of every blood vessel.

As if from very far away, she heard Ryuzaki's voice, saying, "Misa! Thank you, Misa."

_Dying shouldn't feel like this._

It seemed to Misa that she was dead. Yes, she was dead. She had known it with absolute certainty at some distant time and it must still be true.

Something about Ryuzaki seemed very, very familiar all of a sudden, as if she'd known him for months and months on end, instead of only one afternoon.

A word came to her, a symbol, a letter.

_L_

It felt right. Somehow, very complex things were almost assembling in her mind, but not quite. She couldn't grasp them at all; they were fleeing from her. She couldn't feel the grass and solid ground underneath her any more; she couldn't feel the wolf's dick inside her. It seemed that she was wearing other clothing, floating in a featureless blackness.

A strange voice inside her head said, "Processing is finished. The choice has been made."

She opened her eyes and knew she was underwater, sinking further, cold black water flowing into her lungs as she tried to scream. A moment before she was obliterated she knew absolutely everything, remembering it with a vivid clarity.

* * *

**A/N (Author's Note):**

This chapter took a lot longer to finish than I had thought it would. Sorry about that. I'll try to get the last chapter out pretty soon.

I think most readers can probably figure out where it is going, but in case you haven't figured it out, yes, it is a happy ending for L and Misa. It's hard to give realistic LxMisa fics happy endings, but in something as weird as this fic it becomes more possible.


	5. After Processing

**CHAPTER 5: After Processing**

She leaned her head against her mother's shoulder and said, "Are we there yet?"

"Yes," her mother replied. "Just at the end of this block. You'll see. Now, stop that. You're stretching your seatbelt."

"Why do we have to-"

"Not this again. It's only across town. It's not a far move. You've got nothing to complain about."

Her mother's lips set in a thin line. Looking up at that determined face, she knew it wasn't any use to keep complaining. It had all been said before, many times. Grown-ups were unfair. That's just the way it was.

_It's not the same; it's not! I'll be in a different school, without any of my friends. Mom won't listen._

She shifted in her seat, straining upward, trying to get her head high enough for a good view of the new house.

_Everything on this block looks dull._

She saw high stone walls partly blocking off the various houses from view, and the portions that poked above the walls all looked too fancy, with steep, pointed roofs. It scared her.

They pulled off the road and through an iron gate that swung closed behind them, the car stopping on a small graveled area. She slipped out of her seatbelt and down to the ground as soon as she could, and stood there, looking around at the small, walled-in yard that felt like a prison.

Her mother was beside her, trying to take her hand, but she was angry and wanted to sulk, so she snatched her hand away and skipped off, running towards a narrow dark alley between the house and a wall, an alley that must lead to a back yard.

Her mother called after her, "You can play in back for an hour, but after that I'll want help with the boxes. All your stuff will be in your new room, just waiting to be unpacked."

She glanced back over her shoulder just long enough to nod, and then she was running through the narrow space, no grass here, only a cement surface underfoot and occasional thin puddles.

She stepped around them and kept going until the wall of the house turned to the right and an entire walled backyard opened up, a little bigger than the front yard.

It was filled with dull green grass, two trees, some lawn furniture, and had a little pad-locked iron gate at the very back, just wide enough for a grown-up to walk through.

She poked around. There was nothing really to see, and the sky seemed almost closed off by the high walls, too far away. She spun in place, arms outstretched, looking at the clouds far above and wondering how long it would be until the computer would be unpacked.

There were sounds of voices coming from somewhere on the other side of the wall, at first low and indistinct, but then one rose above the others, a yell of, "Don't hurt me!"

In reply, there was laughter.

She ran to the little iron gate and looked out, seeing a scrawny boy around her own age surrounded by bigger boys who were circling him.

"Hey!" she yelled.

One of the big boys said, "The little brat can't do anything. She's locked in and I don't see no key in her hand."

Another one said, "Go run to your mommy, little girl. It'll be over before you can do a damn thing."

The small boy in the center huddled in on himself. He was so small, and so outnumbered. Her heart went out to him. A desperate plan jumped into her mind.

She said, "If you don't hurt him, I'll eat one of my boogers!"

One of the boys said, "Yeah! Let's do it. We can always beat up frog-eyes later!"

The big boys crowded around the gate. She took a step back.

_Do I really have to? It was the only thing I could think of._

The little boy stood in the background, big-eyed and looking scared. She put a finger in her nose and probed, trying to find one. That nostril was clean.

Laughing nervously, she switched nostrils and found one, pulling it out. She didn't want to look at it, stuck on the end of her finger. She coughed, unsure, and then said, "You won't hurt him at all if I eat this booger, right?"

"Not today. Maybe there'll be a new deal tomorrow."

She closed her eyes, held the booger-clad finger up and slowly began moving it toward her open mouth. It was so gross! Her stomach was churning. She didn't want to do it. The big boys were jeering at her, egging her on, begging her to hurry it up.

And then, suddenly, there was a shout from several of them at once, and she felt a tug on her skirt.

She opened her eyes to see the little boy, his face muddy and his clothing ripped, sitting at her feet. It looked like he had just squeezed under the gate somehow. It must have been a very tight fit.

"Move back," he commanded, and she took a step backwards just before one of the bullies lunged, an arm thrust between two bars clawing for her.

The guy couldn't reach, but it was still scary. Together, they both scrambled further back until she felt safe, and then she leaned down, wiping her booger on the grass, relieved at not having to eat it.

"I'll get my mom!" she shrieked.

The big boys quickly dispersed.

"Let's go inside," she said. "My mom can clean your face and maybe you can borrow one of my shirts."

Dropping his voice low, he said in a near-monotone, "It was not needed. I had everything under control."

"What? I almost ate a booger for you! Don't be like that."

He gestured up at one of the nearby telephone poles. "They are habitual bullies who are all very good at not getting caught. They do nothing where they can be seen, and they know how to cause pain without leaving marks. I managed to convince them that the camera up there is malfunctioning and no longer records, but this isn't true. If you had let them proceed, there would have been enough video evidence for severe disciplinary actions against them."

She stared at him. He stared back blankly, his big dark eyes bulging. She could see why the bullies called him 'frog-eyes' with a gaze like that, enormous eyes dominating his face.

"That's weird, to set them up," she said, "but kind of cool. It's like a trick from a movie! But, won't the recording show the truth anyway? They _were_ threatening you."

"Yes, but it may not be enough. I will try my best to make it stick to them."

"Are you hungry?"

His eyes lit up, and he said, "Yes!"

She took him up the back steps, hoping this was an unlocked way in, and, to her relief, it was. It opened on a long, confusing-looking hallway with boxes piled head-high to the right and the left. She navigated through them and found another door, opening it to find a kitchen.

She started some microwave tea, one of the few things she could make well on her own, and then looked through the contents of several open boxes sitting around on counters and the floor, until she'd found some crackers, two plates, and an unopened jar of grape jam.

By then the tea was done, and she brought out both cups, setting one in front of the boy. He was simply crouching on the same chair, as he'd done the whole time, looking at everything as if he were trying to memorize it.

She got the jar open for him, and then yelled, "Mom!"

He'd eaten two jam-smeared crackers by the time her mother appeared.

She said, "Mom, this boy was going to be beat up and I saved him!"

"Oh! He looks terrible. I'll get a washcloth and a new shirt. What's his name?"

She realized she'd forgotten to ask. She elbowed him and said, "Hey! What is it?"

"Louis," he replied.

Her mother said, "Introduce yourself back. Be polite."

"I'm Missy," she said, extending a hand to him.

* * *

**A/N (Author's Note):**

This is the last chapter, and, yes, it ends as a reincarnation fic with L renamed as 'Louis' and Misa renamed as 'Missy' and since they're still children it's open-ended as to whether they will later get together in a romantic way.

L and Misa are together because of the choices each made during the false world that only existed as a kind of dream in chapters 2, 3 and 4. The reason why L, Light and Misa could all experience that world together, despite dying at different times, is because of the outside-of-time characteristics of that process. I hope I made this stuff clear in the fic itself, but, if it wasn't clear, then you can at least see the explanation here of what I was aiming for.

I know it's cheesy, but if you try hard enough you can make reincarnation mostly or completely compatible with the "Mu" concept outlined in the supplemental shinigami rules (I consider the supplemental rules to be the ones that didn't appear or get used in canon proper, but were publicized as true by the canon author).

Reincarnation without an afterlife means that people don't "go" anywhere, since they stay instead. You can kind of get around the "not returning to life" thing if you say that reincarnating as new people doesn't really count as "returning to life" since each individual is a new, different person and the body is permanently dead.

Reincarnation is attractive in the realm of Death Note fan fiction because it's a way for favorite characters who died to not really be dead, and it's also one of the few ways to have a genuinely happy ending for everyone. The situation in canon Death Note is so tragic and so full of problems that it's hard to imagine any way for it to realistically end without tragedy happening to at least some of the main characters. Reincarnation fics, severe AUs, and some types of amnesia-fics offer a way to sidestep those tragedies.

I know it's possible to write a Red-Riding-Hood AU without explaining the setting and turning it into a reincarnation fic, but in my case I just felt like I couldn't believe it was really L, Misa and Light in this fic without offering some kind of reason why. I could have done it as a crack fic with no explanation, but I really wanted to do a serious smut story with hints of real romance.

I've been working for ages on a RemxMisa High School AU (none of it has been uploaded yet, so don't bother looking for it) that has a similar concept, a way to bridge between the actual Death Note series and a weird AU, to make the fanfic more plausible to me. I think that this other fic had some influences on "Big Bad L", but the process shown isn't exactly the same, so if I ever do finish that other fic and upload it, I hope it won't seem like I'm copying my own work too much.


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